[GCFL.net] Clean Puns

I don't think my sister's marriage will last. Her new
husband has a foot fetish, and on their honeymoon, he got
off on the wrong foot.

There's nothing grate about sliced cheese. (Daniel Riehs)

Crack dealers stick their business in other people's noses

I've heard that the government is planning on taxing the
mathematically illiterate. Wait!! Isn't that called the
lottery? (Bob Dvorak)

I used to frequent a buffet restaurant, one where you even
get your own drinks, but they still want to get tipped. At
the exit there was a box bolted to the wall with a sign on
it that said "tip box." I tried to, but it was too firmly
bolted to tip it. (Barry Austern)

I tried snorting Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in
my nose.

If a man were forced to serve two prison terms, I suppose
he'd have a compound sentence. (Douglas Helsel)

The math department felt they weren't getting enough
students registering as math majors, so they made a
commercial and aired it on prime time--1 o'clock, 2 o'clock,
3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock, and 11 o'clock. (Bob
Dvorak)

Cars driven at night burn midnight oil. (George Sholin)

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife
Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

A mathematician scolding his child: "If I've told you n
times, I've told you n+1 times." (Bob Dvorak)

If you're sharing an apartment with a sheep and a cow could
you consider them as your ruminates? (Gary Hallock)

Applying mascara in a car can cause whipped lashes. (Pun of
the Day)

Received from Stan Kegel.

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