[GCFL.net] Dying of Thirst

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A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched
desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies were
running low when his camel died. Now on foot, he desperately
sought refuge from the heat, and, most importantly, a source
for water. Suddenly, he came across a vendor in the middle
of the desert.

"Thank God I found you!" the man cried. "Please help me. I'm
in dire need of some water."

"Well," said the vendor, "I don't have any water. But would
you like to buy one of these fine ties."

"What am I going to do with a tie?" the man asked.

"That's what I'm selling sir. If you don't like it, I can't
help you."

The man left the vendor and walked on for many more miles,
praying each minute that he would find refuge from the
scorching sun. His eyes squinted a bunch of times when he
came across a restaurant in the distance. Unable to
comprehend a restaurant located in the middle of the desert,
he assumed the place was a mirage, but decided to check it
out anyway. As he approached the door, his mouth opened in
amazement, seeing that the place actually existed.

The doorman stopped him before he entered. "Excuse me sir,"
the doorman said, "but you can't come in here without a
tie!"

Received from Michael Whalan.

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Good, Clean, Funnies List!

hey all,

i've subscribed The Kool Kid to www.gcfl.net, a Christian joke line that emails hilarious (sometimes) jokes to email addresses. this website should get updated once daily automatically and also whenever i post.

In Christ,

tom

[GCFL.net] Believe Bible

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A lady is riding the subway, reading her Bible.

A man sitting next to her, seeming amused, asks her, "You
don't really believe what they say in there, do you?"

"Every word," she replied.

"OK," he asks, "how about the Noah story, the flood, the
animals - do you believe that?"

"Absolutely," she said.

"What about God creating the universe in six days?"

"All true, I believe every word."

"What about Jonah - how could a man live for three days in
the belly of a whale?" he asks.

"Yes, I believe that too," she says.

"Well, how could that be - how did he breathe?"

" I don't know," she said. "When I get to Heaven, I'll ask
him."

"What if he's not in Heaven," the guy asks.

The lady replies, "In that case, you can ask him!"

Received from Bill Lane.

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[GCFL.net] But I'm Not Speeding!

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One day a certain lady was driving on the Highway. She
frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed
within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her
rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not
far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car
turned on his flashing lights. She thought to herself,
"Uh-oh, what have I done now? I'm not speeding. I'm not
drinking. I have my seat belt on! I have kept up my license
dues and everything!"

So, she pulled over and the police car pulled over to the
side right behind her car. She drove her car slowly to a
stop, slowly rolled down the window, and prepared for a
ticket when she knew she didn't deserve it. A policeman
walked up to her window, and spoke to her. The lady pointed
to her ear and shook her head, meaning she was deaf.

The policeman smiled slightly and said, "I know. I'm here to
tell you that your horn is stuck."

Received from Joke du Jour.

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[GCFL.net] A Missionary Kid

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MISSIONARY KID WHEN�

You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"

You speak two languages, but can't spell either.

You flew before you could walk.

You embarrass yourself by asking what swear words mean.

You have a passport, but no driver's license.

You watch National Geographic specials and recognise
someone.

You have a time zone map next to your telephone.

You don't know how to play Pac-Man.

You would rather eat seaweed than cafeteria food.

Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five
times.

You speak to different ethnic groups in their own language.

You think in grams, metres, and litres.

You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel.

You send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for
Christmas.

You worry about fitting in, and wear a native wrap around
the dorm.

National Geographic makes you homesick.

You have strong opinions about how to cook bugs.

You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for
vacation.

You don't know where home is.

Strangers say they can remember you when you were "this
tall."

You have friends from or in 29 different countries.

You do your devotions in another language.

You sort your friends by continent.

You keep dreaming of a green Christmas.

You tell people where you're from, and their eyes get big.

You are grateful for the speed and efficiency of any postal
service.

You realise that furlough is not a vacation.

You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.

You've spoken in dozens of churches, but aren't a pastor.

Furlough means that you are stuffed every night... and have
to eat it all to seem polite.

Your parents decline your cousin's offer to let them use his
BMW, and stuff all six of you into an old VW Beetle instead.

You stockpile mangoes.

You know what REAL coffee tastes like.

The majority of your friends don't speak English as a first
language.

Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport
wrong.

You believe vehemently that football is played with a round,
spotted ball.

You know there is no such thing as an international
language.

You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism.

You realise what a small world it is, after all.

You never take anything for granted.

You watch a movie set in a foreign country, and you know
what the nationals are REALLY saying into the camera.

You know how to pack.

All preaching sounds better under a corrugated tin roof.

Having four distinct seasons other than: dry, very dry,
rainy, very rainy, is a new experience.

After a couple of years in one spotm, you're ready to move
again.

You frequently say, "I don't know, I was out of the
country."

You feel uncomfortable in school without a uniform.

School gets cancelled due to flash flooding.

Tropical fruits aren't imported.

Walking miles to and from school is "normal."

If someone asks what school you went to, you reply, "depends
on the year."

You are afraid to ask what you are eating. But munch away,
with a smile on your face.

Received from Bill Sharples.

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New Profile Picture!

hey guys,

i'm changing my profile picture. here is the new image.

whatdayathink?

In Christ,

tom

It's Jokes!

hey guys,

just a few more korny jokes.

#1
betty: did you know that women are smarter than men?
bob: no
betty: see what i mean?

#2
patient: doctor, docter, my wife thinks she's a duck, what should i do?
doctor: send her over, quickly.
patient: i can't do that, she's already flown south for the winter!

#3
patient: doc, what should i do, i can't sleep a wink?
doctor: lie on the very edge of the bed, you'll soon drop off.

like them?

In Christ,
tomboysupreme

Whats going on on Independence day!

hey guys!

well, my grandmother,meemee, was in the hospital, and today she got out! isn't that just wonderful? i think so. now she dosn't have to stay in that dark old room on july 4th.

right now, we are at her house and my dad is at k rogers, krogers, kroger, and my brother, david, is at my grandma's house.

In Christ,

tomboysupreme