The Kool Kid

the flu

2006-02-27T16:51:00.000-05:00

hey people,
i have the flu. it's going around. at least here it is.
hey, you know, i'm thinking about making a new blog. this one is kinda stupid. my brother david is changing his, and it looks more offical now. ok, i guess that's all.
in Christ,
tom

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-28T10:55:00.000-05:00

Hey.
Did everybody have a Merry Christmas? I did.
This is what I got:
1. an alarm clock.
2. A hairbrush set.
3. Four in one book, Ruth Fieldings of the Red Mill, Peggy and Michel, The Linger-Nots and the Mystery House, and Billie the Inventor.
5. A doll.
6. A four square ball.
7. A bag of candy, consisting of malt balls, butterscotch covered pretzels,dried apple and some other candy.
8. A picture frame
9. A bead kit
10. Three necklace's

And Hey, This is a reminder, if you want to comment, you go to my bar at the top and click on comment!

In Christ,
tom

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-25T18:05:00.000-05:00

Hey Everybody.

Umm...................

Don't really know what to say. I've been pretty dunnobusy, but otherwise, i'm not busy.

Did you have a good Thanksgiving? I hope you did. I sure did. It wouldn't be right without a good Thanksgiving.

In Christ,

tom

Cockpit Tour

2005-11-20T16:31:00.000-05:00

At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full-size mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels.

A guide at the top of the ramp points out the various controls and gauges in the cockpit and gives information about the aircraft's capabilities to each visitor who gets in.

When my two-year-old son sat down in the plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard. Then he looked out at us and said, "Grandma, could I have a quarter?"

From the Good, Clean Funnies List.

joke

2005-10-19T16:21:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody,

Here is a list of things that are hilarious to do:

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap him on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if he has an appointment.

9) Lay down the Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask him if he can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing him occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

20) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Hey Cyberspace

2005-10-18T17:13:00.000-04:00

Hey there.

I finally got the gcfl account back. Now you can have fun whenever you get on my website.

Enjoy!

tom

American Girl Co. Giving Money to Abortion Clinics!

2005-10-13T16:12:00.000-04:00

hi guys,
long time no see. well, i heard about something that makes me very mad! my mom was on American Girl . Com and looking around, and she saw that there was a big sign that said "I can" and it happened to be a promise bracelet. mom clicked on it, to see what it was, and it went to a website called Girls Inc. and as mom read down the page, there was something that was very suprising. it said that it was leadership and that it was ok for girls to have abortions! and that American Girl Co. gave a good portion of there money to the Abortion Clinics. now this is on the clarkhowardshow and the catholic radio station. we are not catholic, a friend told us this. but we heard it and talked to him about it on The Clark Howard Show, 5.90. mom and i sent out emails telling our friends not to perchase these products from the company, because their money will be given to Abortion Clinics. now i think that's terrible to give that money there. these people are just helping kill young infants. and you shouldn't buy anything form them either. we aren't. and i feel sorry for anyone out there who thinks that abortion is okay. it is not ok to go around killing babies! that's it.
In Christ,
tom

YES!!!

2005-09-06T16:59:00.000-04:00

hey fellows!

the most wonderful things are happening. next week, i'm going to get my cast off, (i've had it on for three weeks now.) , and that means i will be able to do school with my right hand again!

and soon we are going to start a co-op and then i can meet new and best freinds!

In Christ

tom

Katrina

2005-08-31T11:51:00.000-04:00

here's an article that my brother david wrote at his blog, www.standonbible.blogspot.com. enjoy!

Early today, Hurricane Katrina made its first landfall in the south Louisiana peninsula. Katrina was a Category 4 hurricane, one of the most destructive of the breed.

The most destruction occurred at its third landfall, when 125 mph winds and cataclysmic flooding devastated the Louisiana/Mississippi border. Close by, the New Orleans levee system collapsed under the strain, sending 3 to 8 feet of water through the city. The winds at the Lake Front Airport had reached 86 mph when observations stopped coming.

Structural damage covers New Orleans. In the neighboring city of Gulfport, MS, the Weather Channel Storm Tracker reported storm surges of at least 27 feet.

Areas as far away as the Florida panhandle were impacted by Katrina. Waves along those beaches could reach from 25 to 35 feet this afternoon. In fact, a buoy 70 miles south of the Alabama border reported wave action up to 48 feet!

According to The Weather Channel, Katrina is expected to turn into a Tropical Storm tonight, but destructive winds and heavy rainfall, along with an isolated tornado or two, are projected to continue up toward Cincinnati, Ohio (see graphic for details).

Wow. Yet another incredibly destructive storm has laid waste to our coastlines this year. Ken Ham wrote an excellent article Sunday afternoon concerning the impending disaster. Read it here.

As you might notice by glancing through my archives, this is the third article I have written concerning this year's flood of hurricanes (pun intended). It is interesting to note, in the light of previous posts, that Katrina set the 4th lowest recorded pressure for the Atlantic Gulf at 902 mb. Also, it did the most extreme damage to a strip of casinos and gambling halls along the Gulfport, MS seaboard.

Take a look at my earlier posts concerning hurricanes:

Hurricane Irene?

Hurricane after Hurricane: What does it mean?

again, that's D3's Blog.

In Christ

tom

Something Incredible!

2005-08-26T11:23:00.000-04:00

hey dude's!
i just got this from my brother's blog!

august 22, Amy Bauman of klove went to the creation museum and Carl Kerby, a national figure there, gave her a tour of the entire museum. To listen to the entire tour with carl kerby, click here.

In Christ,

tom

hello! broken arm.

2005-08-22T16:47:00.000-04:00

enjoying yourselves?

hey fellows of the world of computer's!

guess what? uh.. i guess i will tell you the whole thing!

the other evening, i was playing kickball with my friends. my brother, theo, kicked the ball, straight my way.
i quickly, but too soon, jumped up and blocked the ball so that it would not be a home run, but when i came down, my arm landed first. i had had a bruise there for quite a while, but did ot pay attetion to it. so i did not know that it was anything more than a fast-swelling bruise.
when i came in, 2o minutes later, mom saw it and right away i was rushed to the ER.
i know am doing typing and school with my left hand, while my right hangs in a cast for 3 weeks to 5.

and i'm right handed too! :-(

thats all folks!

In Christ,

tom

[GCFL.net] Man's Tension

2005-08-22T04:13:00.000-04:00

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness!

"You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my!

"WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to
STICK!

"Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to
me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you
CRAZY?

"Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You
know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE
SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I
don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it
feels like when I'm driving."

Received from Ed VandenDool.

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[GCFL.net] Bible Brain Twister

2005-08-19T04:12:00.000-04:00

Bible Brain Twister By John Kezer

I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It
was a lulu, kept people looking so hard for facts, and for
others it was a revelation. Some were in a jam, especially
since the names of the books are not capitalized, but the
truth finally struck home to numbers of readers. To others,
it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few
moments for you. Yes, there will be some really easy ones to
spot. Others may require judges to help them. I will quickly
admit it usually takes a minister to find one of the 17, and
there will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little
lady says she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate
better. See how well you can compete. Relax now, for there
really are the names of 17 books of the Bible in these
sentences.

One preacher found 16 books in 20 minutes. It took him three
weeks to find the seventeenth one.

(Hint: See how many books of the bible you can find in the
text above.)

Answer Below:

Bible Brain Twister By [John] Kezer

I once made a re[mark] about the hidden books of the Bible.
It was a lu[lu, ke]pt people loo [king s]o hard for f[acts],
and for others it was a [revelation]. Some were in a [jam,
es] pecially since the names of the books are not
capitalized, but the t[ruth] finally struck home to
[numbers] of readers. To others, it was a real [job]. We
want it to be [a mos]t fascinating few moments for you.
Y[es, ther]e will be some really easy ones to spot. Others
may require [judges] to help them. I will quickly admi[t it
us]ually takes a minister to find one of the 17, and there
will be loud [lamentations] when it is found. A little lady
says s[he brews] a cup of tea so she can concentrate better.
See how well you can com [pete. R]elax now, for there really
are the names of 17 books of the Bible in these sentences.

Received from Jamie.

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[GCFL.net] Shopping With The Wife

2005-08-18T04:14:00.000-04:00

While my wife and I were shopping at a mall, a shapely young
woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes
followed her.

Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife
asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?"

Received from Dawn H.

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[GCFL.net] Clean Puns

2005-08-17T04:13:00.000-04:00

I don't think my sister's marriage will last. Her new
husband has a foot fetish, and on their honeymoon, he got
off on the wrong foot.

There's nothing grate about sliced cheese. (Daniel Riehs)

Crack dealers stick their business in other people's noses

I've heard that the government is planning on taxing the
mathematically illiterate. Wait!! Isn't that called the
lottery? (Bob Dvorak)

I used to frequent a buffet restaurant, one where you even
get your own drinks, but they still want to get tipped. At
the exit there was a box bolted to the wall with a sign on
it that said "tip box." I tried to, but it was too firmly
bolted to tip it. (Barry Austern)

I tried snorting Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in
my nose.

If a man were forced to serve two prison terms, I suppose
he'd have a compound sentence. (Douglas Helsel)

The math department felt they weren't getting enough
students registering as math majors, so they made a
commercial and aired it on prime time--1 o'clock, 2 o'clock,
3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock, and 11 o'clock. (Bob
Dvorak)

Cars driven at night burn midnight oil. (George Sholin)

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife
Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

A mathematician scolding his child: "If I've told you n
times, I've told you n+1 times." (Bob Dvorak)

If you're sharing an apartment with a sheep and a cow could
you consider them as your ruminates? (Gary Hallock)

Applying mascara in a car can cause whipped lashes. (Pun of
the Day)

Received from Stan Kegel.

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[GCFL.net] God speaks to us

2005-08-16T04:12:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine was having a bit of marital-tension in his
household and was trying to figure-out just what to do about
it.

In the course of our conversation, I happened to mention to
him that: "You know, quite often God speaks to us through
our wives."

My friend looked at me kind-a funny and said, "Wow! I didn't
know God used that kind of language!"

Received from Brian Moccia.

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[GCFL.net] For All Those Born Before 1945

2005-08-15T04:12:00.000-04:00

Consider all the changes we have witnessed .....

We were born before television, before penicillin, before
polio shots, before frozen foods, plastics, Xerox, contact
lens, Frisbees and the PILL.

We were born before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser
beams, and ball point pens, and before panty hose,
dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air
conditioners, drip-dry clothes and before man walked on the
moon. We got married first and then lived together. How
quaint can you be? In out time closets were for clothes, not
coming out of. Bunnies were small rabbits and rabbits were
not Volkswagens. Designer Jeans were scheming girls named
Jean or Jeannie, and having a meaningful relationship meant
getting along with your cousin.

We thought fast food was what you ate during Lent, and outer
Space was the back of Loews Theatre. We were born before
house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, and dual
careers. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric
typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, or guys
wearing ear rings. For us time sharing meant togetherness
and hardware and software weren't even words.

In 1939 "made in Japan" meant junk and the term "making out"
referred to how you did on your exam. Pizzas, MacDonalds and
instant coffee were unheard of. We hit the scene when there
were 5 and 10 cent stores, where you bought things for 5 and
10 cents. For a nickel you could ride on the street car,
make a phone call, but a Pepsi or enough stamps to mail one
letter or 2 post cards, and gas for your car (if you had
one) was 11 cents a gallon.

In our day GRASS was mowed, COKE was a cold drink, and POT
was something you cooked in. ROCK MUSIC was Grandma's
lullaby and AIDS were helpers in the Principal's office. We
were certainly not before the differences between the sexes
was discovered, but were surely before the sex change. And,
we were the last generation that was so dumb as to think you
needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder we are so
confused and there is such a generation gap today.

BUT WE SURVIVED!!!

Received from Merry Hearts.

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[GCFL.net] Admin Notes

2005-08-15T01:18:00.000-04:00

I have a few notes I'd like to pass on to you...

1. I have a new born son! He was about a month early, but
everything is great and he's home with his proud parents. If
you are interested, there is a few pictures and some more
information about Brayden here: http://www.gcfl.net/Brayden/

2. Once again, the donation drive was a huge success! Thanks
again for the generous support of everyone that donated.
You're continued support as well as your kind words and
comments continue to encourage me to improve GCFL.net.

I had several people ask if they can still send in a
donation even though the official donation drive is over. OF
COURSE YOU CAN! :) You can find all the information at
http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php

Well, that's all for now.

Have a great day, and don't forget to laugh!

John Price
GCFL Director
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chat to me.

2005-08-14T17:21:00.000-04:00

okay,

i am sure that you guys want to chat with me or try to talk on the computer. well, you can go to, http://www.standonbible.blogspot.com/1990/01/comment-post-for-my-sister.html, or you can just click up beside where it says, "anybody up for bluegrass?"
then you can comment anytime you want!!
there you go.

In Christ,

tom

[GCFL.net] Collateral Required

2005-08-12T04:12:00.000-04:00

Long ago there was once an old native American who wanted a
loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application,
"What are you going to do with the money?"

"Take jewellery to city and sell it," was the response.

"What have you got for collateral?"

"Don't know collateral."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of
the loan.Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"Don't know, has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several
weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out
a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the
banker the money to pay his loan off.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put in tepee."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank," he asked.

"Don't know deposit."

"You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for
you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The old Indian leaned across the desk, "What you got for
collateral?"

Received from Cathy Gilstrap.

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[GCFL.net] The Zoo

2005-08-11T04:12:00.000-04:00

Kimo is a bus driver for the Honolulu Transit Company. One
day Kimo is headed to work on his bus route, when he runs
across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The
van driver works for the Honolulu Zoo. He pleads with Kimo
to do him a favor.

He offers a $100 bill to Kimo to help him deliver a
truckload of penguins to the zoo, because they needed to be
there within the hour. Agreeing, Kimo proceeds to load two
dozen penguins onto his bus. Then, off they drive towards
the zoo.

An hour later, the delivery driver gets his van fixed and
heads off to the zoo to catch up with his delivery. As he's
driving down the road, he see's Kimo and the busload of
penguins heading in the opposite direction. He turns his van
around and chases in pursuit. He finally catches up to the
bus and pulls over Kimo on the side of the road. In an irate
voice he asks, "Hey, Kimo. I thought I gave you a $100
dollars to go and take the penguins to the zoo for me?"

"Calm down," Kimo says. "I took the penguins to the zoo. We
had change left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies!"

Received from Michael Whalan.

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[GCFL.net] Park Pun

2005-08-10T04:11:00.000-04:00

We took my sons, ages seven and five, up to Friendship Park
for a picnic.

My seven year old read the sign with the playground rules to
his brother.

"Do not jump on the merry-go-round when in motion."
"Go down the slide while sitting, only."
"Only one child on a swing at a time."
(There were a good twenty rules.)

The boys promised to obey them if I would let them play
without Daddy standing by. So, I joined my wife at the
picnic table.

Just before it was time to eat, I went over and watched them
play. They were obeying the rules, that is, all but one. On
the tall semicircular slide, they were coming down head
first!

I took them over to the posted regulations. We read them,
again. I asked the boys what they had to say for themselves.

"Oh, don't be silly, Dad...no one uses the slide rule
anymore!"

Received from Pastor Tim.

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Who's Here.

2005-08-09T15:20:00.000-04:00

hey fellows.

i just happened to see the computer, and nobody was on it, so i hopped in the chair and turned it on.
i need to tell you what the latest events. my friend from a differant state came and got to spend the night. we stayed up until like 3:30am.
well, that is the current event.

In Christ,

tom

[GCFL.net] Getting Out Of Jury Duty

2005-08-09T04:13:00.000-04:00

A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be
dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think
of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he
decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to
begin he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial
because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one
look at the man in his blue suit with those beady eyes and
that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty,
guilty, guilty!' So your Honor, I can not possibly stay on
this jury!"

With a tired annoyance, the judge replied, "Get back in the
jury box. That man is his lawyer."

Received from Scott Neville.

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[GCFL.net] Little Tim

2005-08-08T04:12:00.000-04:00

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his
neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the
rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What
are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking
up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for
a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's
because he's inside your cat!"

Received from Bill Thrash.

--
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Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

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subscription options or unsubscribe.

To print or email this funny to others, go to
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050808

The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
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